In 2017, the Archdiocese of Portland reached out to a team of volunteers and myself. They wanted to create a showcase for women's ministries but had a scheduling conflict. They had this idea that discipleship groups that were small had the best ability to succeed in developing Catholic lives. They needed help to achieve their mission. So we stepped in.
Our aim was to inform,equip and ignite women to bring these ministries into their homes and parishes. We called it “Fiat: Making Mary’s Yes Our Own”.
We invited Sonia Corbitt who had a bible study of her own. she was talented and we knew that her knowledge of scripture would be a draw. She also had never been in this area of the country. That was a major focus in inviting her.
But there were so many other apostulates that had amazing effects in parishes. Ministries like Blessed is She, Walking With Purpose, and Endow; each with their own different focus and intention. But we needed speakers for each. How could we pay each speaker? We also needed food! and how to sell tickets? So many daunting challenges.
The team met regularly and they were amazing to bounce ideas off of - but a lot of them had their own pressing schedule and family needs. They all had their own Fiat that they had already answered. But all did pitch in and the job was incredibly exhausting.
We got to the day and I was supposed to facilitate. But what was I going to say? I hadn't even figured that out. I was a Martha in a Mary world. I had no idea how to explain what we were about to do. I managed to pull some quotes off of the internet but how to lead women deeper was something I was not equipped to do. I realized that in this particular job I was more of a "doer" than a leader.
I got the job done but as I left that day, many women came up to me and wanted me to do another conference. I felt complimented but in my heart I wondered if I had done this all wrong. Each woman was supposed to go away from the conference feeling empowered to bring Christ into their daily lives. That meant that my job was supposed to be done. They were supposed to take over.
I felt dejected. As i shared my feelings with one of my friends, expecting her to commiserate with me, she instead told me I was all wrong. They did go away empowered, which is why they were so happy. But now they needed a next step. She explained that Jesus came to repair our relationship with the Father but he didn't leave us with a pat on the back and a good luck. He left us with the Church and with the saints. He left us with an ongoing ability to gather together, learn and worship. Alright, I said, I'll do another.